Umrah Reflections Part 2: A Tale of Two Umrahs

The most beautiful time and the most beautiful place. One of our final days in Medina was spent exploring Jannatul Baqi. Which will probably end up being its own post in the future once I get around to sticking the videos I took there together.

Giant Umbrella’s give shade to all the pilgrims. The carpets are all green this time around. I remember a time when only the Rawdah had green carpet to separate it from the rest of the masjid.

We left Medina in our ihrams, ready to make Umrah—sad to leave the blessed city but hopeful to see Allah (SWT)’s house. We took the train, which got us to the holy city of Mecca in roughly two and a half hours.

Brother Faisal concerned that I wasn’t getting any pictures of myself took it upon himself several times to get pictures of me. (If you are reading this… time to move to New Jersey.)

Despite being a group of 96 people, we were able to largely stick together the whole time. If we got separated in one stage of Umrah, we would not advance on to the next stage until we gathered together. The game plan was laid out the night before in Medina and was reiterated in the hotel lobby before leaving. May Allah (SWT) bless whoever donated those headsets.

You can break us apart physically but you can’t stop the signal.

We all wore headsets so we could hear Shaykh Yasir guiding us, counting the tawaf, making duah. Each Tawaf generally followed a theme praying for ourselves, our loved ones, our ummah. Someone reflected, that we keep our left shoulder closer to the Kaaba because that is where our heart is situated inside our body. Our hearts should always be close to Allah (SWT) not matter the external circumstances. Another sister remarked, that the Tawaf circle although crowded would have moments of intensity and then moments of remarkable ease.. mimicking the different stages once goes through in life. This would be a good time to take a picture the Shaykh remarked. Are you sure?

Moving from one stage to another. The Ihram reminds me of the day of judgement. May we always be in a place of safety.

We prayed at the Maqam of Ibrahim (A). Once again, we found space miraculously where, in normal circumstances, we wouldn’t have. During sa’ee, going back between Safa and Marwa, the group took care of each other like one giant family, holding each other’s kids, looking out for people falling behind, and making duah together. I was one of those who fell behind but could still hear on the headset. During Umrah, Allah (SWT) forces us to follow the steps of Ibrahim (A) and Hajar (A). It is so fundamentally important to follow the path laid out before you by our righteous predecessors. Hajar (A) was looking for her need and it was fulfilled and I was hoping for something similar as my journey ended.

As I made the final lap and exited into a courtyard that the rest of the group was waiting at, I felt the numb feeling inside me break again. The group was looking for the people lagging behind. The Shaykh could be heard on the mic we were all wearing looking for people one by one and making dua for them as they exited out of Safa and Marwa. “There’s Samir.” They were overjoyed to see me, and I was overjoyed to see them, and the full weight of what we accomplished was felt and appreciated all at the same time. I appreciated it in a way that I would not be able to attain on my own.

Pictured off screen a security guard has a change of heart and walks away…

I was reminded of the verse in Surah Zumar where Allah (SWT) described the righteous entering Jannah together.

“And those who were mindful of their Lord will be led to Paradise in ˹successive˺ groups. When they arrive at its ˹already˺ open gates, its keepers will say, “Peace be upon you! You have done well, so come in, to stay forever.” Surah Zumar: 73

Let this be the group that I enter Jannah with I thought to myself.

We gathered together, and I took a picture in the courtyard. As I put my eyes on the viewfinder, I saw that some members of the group started to look nervous. I glanced to my right, and a security guard seemed to have appeared right beside me. I thought he would smash my camera. I thought of possibilities—should I make a run for it? Then the guard smiled: “Okay, you take this one picture and then you go.” Everyone was relieved. I took the picture, and then I asked Ammar to take a picture of me and the Shaykh. A small consolation prize for not being in any of the group shots. Every picture is a good deed. I had told Ammar before leaving.

My roommates rushing in. I should crop them out but it would break the theme of these reflections :).

The group then made their way to the barber shops to complete the Umrah. The joy and happiness on everyone’s face was evident.

I was told that beneath the clock tower is a whole different world. I’ll have to explore it another time.

My second Umrah was not like my first.  It was the intention I had carried with me the entire trip.  The intention that in my opinion blessed the entire trip.  This Umrah was going to be on behalf of my father and I wasn’t going to delay it any longer.  The group would be making their second umrah right before leaving on Friday afternoon. I was leaving on Friday morning so I did not want to take any chances.

There was no camera on my second Umrah. But I did take this shot in between.

I found out that my close friend Ammar was going to make Umrah so I joined him and his wife.  We left around 3 am to Masjid Aisha (R) to make our intention.  As we made our way back to the haram, and started our tawaf, it got more and more difficult, the time for Fajr was coming in and by round five we could hardly move.  Ammar and his wife shuffled to the outside of the circle and I shuffled inward in an attempt to outmaneuver the large groups of Turkish and Malaysian pilgrims that were moving in unison.  We separated for the rest of the trip. Even in the inner circle, I did not have much more luck moving as people began stopping and lining up for Fajr..  Eventually, I stood in my spot, waiting for Salah.  People kept crossing through.  I tried to close off the gaps that people kept crossing through.  Someone tripped as I used my foot to close a gap, not knowing my own strength.  The man, seemingly resigned to his fate to fall over, onto the floor of the court yard, as he was wobbling, I reached out and grabbed him and brought him back on solid footing.  He looked at me with sheer joy and happiness said something that I could not understand.  But it did not matter, I loved him all the same. 

I prayed Fajr and then finished my tawaf.  Praying behind the Maqam Ibrahim was not difficult but the zam zam stations were closed off using a barrier.  A construction worker saw me and others looking at the Zam Zam water longingly and came over and brought us our fill.  I then got lost and found myself on the second floor of Sa’ee. Ammar called me at this point to try and rejoin but I did not know how to get to the lower floor from where I was and felt myself getting emotional. I wanted to do this part alone. At this point, my feet were swelling, my thighs were chaffed and cutting, and it was an extremely difficult walk between Safa and Marwa.  But I powered through and tried even harder knowing that I wasn’t doing it for myself.  Half way through,  Salatul Itisqah (Prayer asking for Rain) was called, so I stopped and joined the special rare opportunity to make this prayer.  I finished making the Sa’ee remembering my father, and all the people who had passed away in life, making duah that Allah (SWT) reunites us at the Prophet’s river.  That second Umrah was extremely difficult and it took over seven hours to complete. I had not slept at all that night. The two Umrah’s couldn’t have been more different. This wasn’t easy at all.  I thought to myself. Neither was my relationship with my father.  I smiled to myself and felt gratitude and acceptance knowing with certainty that the struggle in of itself was a sign of acceptance from Allah (SWT).

Until we meet again.