Umrah Reflection Part 1: Make Space

I arrived in Medina at 4 a.m after a long set of flights. Fajr was coming in soon, and I did not book a hotel for this odd arrival time. I tried initially to get a hotel at a cheaper location further from the harem but was told I would be charged for a four-person room. I refused and made my way to the main hotel that was booked for Prophetic Living.

“Come back after Fajr. Right now, the computer system still thinks it’s yesterday. Maybe I can do something for you.”

The receptionist was kind and clearly doing his best to get me a room. Okay, I’ll go to Fajr, but I look and smell terrible right now coming off my flight.

I made my way up to the mezzanine floor and opened up my suitcase, spreading it out wide. Grabbing a change of clothes and deodorant. This wouldn’t be acceptable in any hotel lobby in the states.

No one will notice me. No one will care. No one is awake yet.

I looked around nervously with my suitcase spread out. It doesn’t matter. Being clean and presentable is more important. I made my way to the bathroom and found it locked.

A hotel worker was crossing by. He spoke Urdu. He asked me where I was from. I said, “Pakistan, but now America.” I said to curry his favor. He happily swiped me into the bathroom. In these two holy cities, there is a network of desi brethren ready to help and assist me. All it takes is a little bit of broken Urdu.

Medina always feels like returning home for me. I have navigated these streets many times before. The last time I was here, I was with my father and he was alive. I thought to myself.

Fans blow mist keeping pilgrims cool at all times of the day.

After praying Fajr, I headed back to the hotel. The receptionist was asking me for the code for Adam Travel. I didn’t have it. As I was negotiating with the receptionist, I ran into friends I made during the Bosnia trip—Ahmed and Mohamed.

“Do you need anything? Anything we can do to help?”

“I could use some breakfast.”

“We were just about to go.”

They sneaked me into breakfast and explained to me that they had arrived in Medina early and had been there for several days.

That was the first of many needs that I felt in my heart were met without even asking Allah (SWT).

I then asked where Shaykh Yasir was, and behold, a couple of minutes later, Shaykh Yasir showed up.

These brothers graciously offered up their room to let me sleep. When I woke up at 12 p.m., I received a text from my group leader that the room was ready for me early and that I could help distribute the keys. Another small miracle I thought.

The true city that never sleeps with people’s whose hearts are awake.

I continued resting until I woke up again and met the rest of the group which was now arriving from Turkey. One brother I was meeting for the first time. Another, I was well acquainted with through a Halaqa and Prophetic Living, another named Yusuf who I had met in Turkey and was told knew all the spots and the best Turkish Bathhouse. The wider group, I already knew about half of the brothers from the community. Some were people whom I hadn’t seen for a long time and got reacquainted with, some were people whom I knew very well, and others were around but I never got to talk to. By the end of the trip, I loved all of them.

This trip was different and unique because we extended our time in Medina and purposefully kept together as a group, both in our nightly gatherings after Isha for dinner and reflection, and then during tahajjud time. My first night, I was unable to meet up with the group. I lagged behind in order to make wudu and got separated early. I saw some of the brothers at a distance at the back of the old masjid but felt there was no room and left to go pray alone.

Day or Night, the Prophet’s (S) Mosque is always beautiful.

The next night, the Shaykh told us to always make room for others and to be patient with the people of Medina, as well as the other pilgrims here for Umrah.

“Don’t assume that you are better than anyone that is praying next to you. In fact, conclude that everyone around you is better.”

We were encouraged again to stick with the group. Feeling guilty, I resolved to change my behavior. That second night, I woke up at 2:30 a.m., before my alarm clock was set to go off an hour later. The text then came from Zaied shortly after that- he was going down to the masjid and was waiting in the lobby. I took a little longer than I should have getting ready, so I didn’t catch him in the lobby. I made my way into the Prophet’s masjid. Where is the meeting place? It must be somewhere close to the Prophet (S). As I walked up and down the aisle looking for my group members, I felt something in my heart, turned, and saw that Zaied had seen me, raised his hands so that I would notice him, and then made room for me. Little by little some of the other brothers in the group joined and there just always seemed to be space.

In the court yard of the Prophet (S) after sunrise.

Everything looks better on film.

Seeing the other brothers strive to do more during tahajjud was motivating and did not diminish from my ibaadah like I thought it would. Over the next few days, I grew closer to my roommates. Sometimes I would just wonder where they were in my heart, and then immediately after, they would just spawn to my side while walking in the Prophet’s masjid and courtyard. It felt like our hearts were truly connected. Our days were spent visiting the blessed Prophet’s masjid for obligatory prayers and visiting special places like Masjid Quba and Uhud. At night, our emotional guardrails were coming down, and I started to feel like I knew some of these brothers and sisters way longer than I actually had.

Masjid Quba. The Prophet (S) would walk here every Saturday.

The hill where the archers abandoned their posts during the battle of Uhud.

I have already previously reflected on how Medina brings an immense sense of peace. I wrote about my last trip there two years ago with my parents and sister—how my heart rate dropped on average ten beats while I was there, and the cares of the world just seemed to melt away. This time I went to Medina, the concerns were even greater, the anxiety heavier, but once again in Medina it just felt like the life I was coming from was on pause and didn’t really matter all that much. At night, we would enjoy dinner together, listen to a reminder, and then reflect—our reflections sometimes bouncing off one another.

A spontaneous picture I only intended to take this with Yusuf.

Trying to change my lone wolf habits, I intended to offer a reflection—regarding the last meeting between Muadh ibn Jabal and the Prophet (S). This time, I was already missing Medina before leaving.

This is what it feels like to be in Medina while the Prophet (S) is not in our world. What would it have been like in Medina while the Prophet (S) was alive, walking amongst his companions?

I didn’t want to leave Medina now. How did the Sahaba feel when they were dispatched on missions to spread Islam and protect the Muslims? What a profound sacrifice!

Leaving the Prophet (S), just like Muadh ibn Jabal did, knowing that he would never see the Prophet (S) in this world again as he set out to spread Islam in Yemen.

One night before we were scheduled to sit in the Rawdah in the Prophet’s masjid, we reflected. A young boy, twelve years old, was reflecting on what became the theme of the trip:

“I wasn’t supposed to be on this trip, but like Ahmad said, there is always space….”

Then the young boy broke down crying. We didn’t hear the rest of his reflection, but we didn’t need to. This young boy was so grateful to be in the company of the Prophet (S) in the city of the Prophet (S).

Several hours later, the brothers gathered again outside the Prophet’s masjid. Our travel group had reserved the Rawdah for us. Shaykh Yasir told us all to make sincere duah that we all get to pray Fajr in the Rawdah of the Prophet (S).

The Messenger of Allāh (peace and blessings upon him) said, “The area between my house and my pulpit is one of the gardens of Paradise.” (Bukhari)

In the front row of the Prophet’s masjid.

Sure enough, we were escorted from place to place until we arrived in the Rawdah. This moment in the Rawdah was one of the climaxes of the trip. As sure as anything, our duah was answered, our time in the Rawdah was extended, and the security guards, instead of yelling at us to leave, were saying, “Yallah FAJR, Yallah FAJR.” As I looked around me in the Rawdah, I saw the Shaykh to my left; I caught his eye also looking around for his group mates—a place next to the final resting place of the Prophet (S) for him. For me, a place in the first rows of the Rawdah, behind the security guards, and behind the boy who had cried out in gratitude and his father. Because of the boy and his father I thought to myself, I was in the most blessed space, at the most blessed time, amongst the most blessed company.

“O believers! When you are told to make room in gatherings, then do so. Allah will make room for you ˹in His grace˺. And if you are told to rise, then do so. Allah will elevate those of you who are faithful, and ˹raise˺ those gifted with knowledge in rank. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.” Surah Al-Mujadila: 11